We all have dreams for our children. We want them to be happy, fulfilled, successful. For some, it is about what they do with their lives. For me, I have realized, that it is about how I want my girls to feel. The rest will come…
I want to instil a confidence in my girls that they can be comfortable in their own skin. I know they will not succeed at everything they do, but I want to teach them to be confident and try their heart out with their head held high, believing in themselves no matter what others are doing. Life is about furthering yourself as a person and developing rather than the end result or being great at everything.
I want my girls to be curious. I want them to have a sense of wonder about our world and be interested about why and how things work. I want to help them delve into their own interests and learn as much as they can about their passions. The best critical thinker is interested! I want to raise lifelong learners.
3. Calm & Centred
I want my girls to feel calm amidst the hyperactivity and ever-changing world around them. I want them to be able to disconnect and connect with us as a family and relax. I have always had a hard time relaxing and I need to change this for my girls so that they can learn to do it. At the end of the day, I always “chat” with my oldest who is 2 and a half. We talk about our day and what we are looking forward to doing the next day. It is a moment to reflect and connect with each other. I want this to be built into our days forever.
I want my girls to have the courage to try difficult things. I went to a parenting workshop one time where the speaker talked about how we need to stop praising our children for easily completing something. If we just keep saying “good job” for something that wasn’t a challenge for them or just comes naturally, we are simply saying that doing something well is the most important. He said that we should praise more for pushing through a task that is difficult. That is where the real strength is. It is about building resiliency. I totally get it!
I want my girls to feel cherished. I want them to feel special. I think the most important thing that I can do is to make them feel safe and important. Everyone wants to feel like they belong to someone or something and I believe that my biggest job in the world is to love my girls.
I want my girls to feel colourful. Even at 9 months and 2 years old, they each are their own little person just bursting with character and colour. I want to teach them to own their uniqueness and bring it to everything they do. Our world sometimes is so focused on the ‘norm’; I want my girls to ditch that and do what they feel is best for them, the people they surround themselves with, and the world they live in.
This is the one that guides my every day. I want my girls to feel connected on so many different levels. I want them to feel connected to our family first and foremost; but I also want them to feel connected to a community. Connected to a school community, a neighbourhood or a sports community. Feeling connected grounds a person so much and makes them feel safe and supported. Being connected allows for the rest of these feelings from 1 - 6 to just come naturally.
Ultimately I want to support my girls in the life they create for themselves.
All of these thoughts came to me after I attended an event last week. It was an information meeting about an empowerment workshop called 'G Day' for young girls. I walked away reflecting on my blossoming relationships with my daughters and how I can best support them as they grow. I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I decided to write about it. I am certainly not a perfect parent and I have many years of learning to do; however, I hope I can return to these feelings regularly to be the best parent I can be for my little ducklings. Every thought the last few days has come back to the idea of connection and how they feel. I hope I have inspired even just one person to look at how you are teaching your daughters (and sons of course!) to feel. Break away from what you are encouraging them to do, and allow them to feel the connections you are creating.
What moment do you remember where you felt totally connected with your mom or other woman in your life? Share your stories!