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In this article, Lorena Abano, a stay at home mom (SAHM), shares ways on how fellow SAHMs can take some time off from the daily grind.
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For someone who used to be a working girl,
I never thought I’d take to being a full-time housewife. It’s no walk in the
park, I tell you. But for some reason, there are a handful of people who think
I live the charmed life now that I’m no longer a corporate slave. I’ve been
labeled “lady of leisure” and “soccer mom” on more than one occasion. But
believe me when I say that being a full-on housewife and mom is just as or even
more challenging than working in an office, but way less glamorous. I mean, I’ve
had to trade my stilettos for Uggs.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids to smithereens
and really relish the fact that I’m with them all day every day, watching them
grow. After all, they’re only young once. In a couple of years, they’ll be cringing
and pushing me away when I smother their face with kisses in public or they’ll
be choosing to spend time with their friends instead of their embarrassing old
But no matter how much I treasure my time
with them, I need a breather every so often. And I realized there’s no need to
feel guilty about wanting that space. It’s a natural reaction when your only
adult conversations on a daily basis, aside from asking your husband how his
day was, are exchanging pleasantries with your kid’s preschool teacher and the
other mommies at your kid’s school. So yes, me-time is essential to being a
mom. And here are a few ways you can take some time off.
Pamper yourself. Treating
yourself to some pampering once a week can really help rejuvenate you. Get a
foot spa and pedicure or maybe a Swedish massage or simply go window-shopping. I
usually get Groupon deals for beauty parlour and spa services because these
things can be expensive at regular price. But what I do more often to treat
myself is to just wander around aimlessly in a shopping mall while my husband
stays home with the kids. On occasion, I’ve come home with a new pair of boots
or a lovely wool coat that I can always justify as necessary purchases because
hey, it’s winter five months of the year where I live!
Exercise! Admittedly, I
don’t exercise as often as I should. Going to a gym is not for me. Once in a
while, I’ll attend a yoga or Zumba class, but I’d rather just exercise at home.
Good thing I can do some dance routines using Dance Central, a game my husband
has on his Xbox 360 and Kinect. It’s good to work up a sweat at least thrice a
week, something I have yet to put my mind to!
Meditate or pray every day to put things in perspective. It’s not enough to have a healthy body. A sound mind and soul
are of equal importance. So I try to pray and read scripture every day, just to
clear my mind, fill my spirit, and simply just be. It’s not the easiest thing
to do with all the white noise that fills our daily lives. But I try.
Earn your own money, no matter how little. Having been in the corporate world for 12 years, I’d already
forgotten what it was like to depend on others for money, even after I got
married. So when I became a SAHM, I decided that even though I didn’t have a 9
to 5 job anymore, I would find a way to make a little money of my own by doing
freelance writing projects. I get paid per article and it isn’t much. It’s just
a little something to give me that sense of dignity that yes, I am still
capable of earning my own keep.
Make coffee dates with a friend or two. This isn’t so easy for me to do because my closest of
friends are scattered in different parts of the world. But if you’re lucky and
you’ve got your friends living nearby, set dinner or coffee dates with them regularly.
Just to get out of the house and vent and binge and just plain hang out with
Go on a vacation at least once a year—without the kids. This may be an unpopular opinion, especially for those moms
who have really small kids because come on, what kind of mother are you to
leave your baby for a few days so you can feel the sand in your toes or enjoy
some easy conversation over a few glasses of wine? Yes, I’m guilty as charged because
I’ve done that. Several times. I went on a four-day road trip to the northern
Philippine provinces with my husband and our friends when our daughter was 10
months old, leaving her in the care of her grandparents. My husband and I flew
to Jordan, Israel, and Egypt on a two-week tour, again leaving our little girl
with my parents. And just last year, I met up with my girl friends in San
Francisco and Napa Valley for an all-girl bonding trip, leaving my two kids
with my ever supportive husband.
Ah, female friends. They are essential to
your lives, ladies. Even if they aren’t mommies themselves, they’re truly the
best people to spend time with, to lend a listening ear to, and to just laugh
with about the most inane topics that men would never, ever understand.
So call me a bad mom, but I love spending
time away from my kids every so often, whether it’s a few hours in a week or a
few days in a year. I feel I can be a better mom if I just regroup on occasion and
go to places that don’t have to be kid-friendly.
Then when I’m away long enough, I get that
pang of longing and I think to myself, there it is! That feeling of finally
missing my kids. And I eagerly fly back into their chubby arms, once again ready
to take on bedtime stories, potty-training, food spills, and tantrums--until my
next vacation, of course!
Lorena Abano is a former marketing professional in the banking industry and is currently a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom. She is married with 2 sometimes naughty, but most of the time sweet little ones. Writing has been a passion of hers ever since she was 10 years old. She also loves reading, traveling, singing, and dancing.
I'm not a SAHM, but my sister was for many years. Her and her spouse often got away on date nights at least once a week. While you love the kids, it's important to have that time away. It gives you time to reenergize and helps you think clearly. Your kids deserve the best 'you,' so take care of yourself. You have the best job in the world!
Posted by Jennifer O on Feb 3 '15, 9:17 a.m. |
| Flag as abuse
I so agree, though I'm not a STHM, most of my time is spent on the cook clean homework bedtime routine and so a get away even for a night with my husband , just a room tucked away for peaceful conversation and dinner seems like such a treat !!The next morning I run into their warm hugs and messy hair
Posted by user_10883 on Feb 13 '15, 4:46 p.m. |
| Flag as abuse
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