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Hilarious mother of 2 wonderful sons, Kim, writes about her life surrounded by boys . Let's just say she can easily relate to Jerry Seinfield's quote: "Life with a toddler is like having a blender with the lid off".
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Boys Gone Wild(I think I could apply for a job as a Zookeeper)
So I’m sitting here trying to think of where to start,
tasked with coming up with some stories about my life at home with my two sons,
ages 6 and 8. Don’t get me wrong, it’s
not hard to come up with stories. There
are just so many to choose from. It’s
more a matter of which ones to start with!
I chose the title as I can easily relate to Jerry Seinfeld’s quote “Life
with a toddler is like having a blender with the lid off”. Well that pretty much sums it up, and I hate
to break it to you, but it goes from a blender without a lid to someone has
snapped the “On” button right off and you can’t shut it down. EVER.
I love my boys more
than anything in the world. The day each
one of them came into my life were the happiest days I have known. But where in the history of parenting is it
mentioned that you will have a six year old sleepwalk halfway down the stairs
at midnight and mistake the stairwell for the toilet?!!? WHERE, I ask you?!
And then there’s the
“rules”. Not our rules, THEIRS. My youngest absolutely has to brush his teeth
first at night. I’m not sure what happens
if this is not strictly adhered to, but to them you would think the world as we
know it would cease to function. They have specific
spots on the stairs where they sit to put on their shoes. God forbid one infringes on another’s carpet
Now they say that kids repeat everything they hear, good and
bad. I have had to leave the room
laughing when asked by my oldest if two words (common swear words) put together
were “bad words”. Not my proudest
parental moment but I tell you, these are the things you will never forget.
Driving with my husband and my kids recently, an individual
in a ratty old pick up truck cut us off.
My husband, thinking the kids weren’t listening (tip: They are ALWAYS listening!) mumbled something
not deemed suitable for young ears. We
pulled up to a stoplight ahead, the pick up truck stopped beside us now. Our windows were down, being that it was a
warm August day and my oldest leans across his younger brother to shout out the
window “Hey, man – you drive like an IDIOT!!!”
And then there’s shopping with them. To be perfectly honest, I think I would
rather opt for a root canal. And I’m
pretty sure if asked, even though they’ve of course never had the pleasure, I
think they would very likely say the same. I’m pretty smart these days,
bringing their iPads along with us to plop them into shopping carts (yes, you
read that right – they each have an iPad Air, courtesy of grandma at Christmas
– heck, I don’t even have an iPad!!).
This from the same woman who bought them each an iPod at ages 2 and
4. Seriously?! Is that the thing nowadays, where were these
grandparents when I was little?!?!?!?!
I got Monchichi and a Sit and Spin!
Wow, I’m old.
Life with boys is not something you can explain to someone
who has two girls, one boy, a girl and a boy or even two boys with a large age
gap. It is a whole different experience
you simply cannot put words to.
Especially when said boys are only twenty one months apart! They spent a lot of time bonding this past
summer and I, for one, was quite happy for the break in fights (it was only
every hour or so, instead of every fifteen minutes!).
Our kids make us laugh every single day without fail. They are happy, kind, crazy, silly and
rambunctious boys who love Minecraft and fart a lot. They hide each other’s favorite stuffies in
bookcases, behind a book on horseback riding and show jumping (my passion in my
other life, before so many grown up things began to seep in), they cry when the
other one is getting into trouble for something, they draw tattoos on their
hands with Sharpies and they write on the steps to the hot tub “It wasn’t me,
Jaylen did it” (before Jaylen could write! Older brother BUSTED!). They draw
chalk outlines of their bodies on the playground at school (here’s all the
little girls drawing pretty flowers and rainbows, and then there’s our boys and
their friends drawing crime scenes!)
I get in trouble from my husband for calling them by their
pet names from baby days, “Gummy Bear” and “Lovebug”. Every once in a while I catch myself at
school calling my oldest “Tysee Wysee”.
Mental note: I’ve got to get a
handle on that one before middle school or this kid is doomed.
Every day is an adventure.
They test my patience to levels I didn’t even know existed before
kids. But I also didn’t know how full of
love my heart could be. These two little
human beings have changed my life in so many ways, and I couldn’t imagine my
life without them for one single moment.
My crazy boys never stop, from son up to son down - but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Blender with the Lid Off is right. Try having two of them, side by side on TURBO
speed. All. The. Time.
I loved reading this post! I'm the mom to a 16 month old little boy. Every day brings new adventures and I know that the older he gets, the more crazy things will get ... in a good way.
Posted by Caitlin on Jan 7 '15, 6:08 a.m. |
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