5 Ways to Have A Successful Friendship With Your Children

Published Feb 3, 2017 | Updated Feb 19, 2020

How to ensure a happy and healthy relationship with your children.

Being a mother is a delicate balance between friend and foe. Most mothers want their children to grow up well-rounded and have good, upstanding morals. However, some mothers are able to achieve a healthy balance between being the disciplinarian and confidante with ease. As the child ages into adulthood, the relationship between the mother and child will go through a drastic change. How does a parent ensure that their child is a friend for life? Well, there are some physiological factors, a few genetic dispositions, and some psychological factors that will come into play. However, here are five things that a mom can do to ensure there is a great relationship with their child.

1. Discipline The Child

No child wants to be disciplined, however, when they are older they will look back on those times as learning experiences. Discipline is not the same as it was years ago. New and more creative ways ensue. When a child goes through a rebellious streak, it is the mother’s actions and reactions that can often dictate the situation's outcome. For instance, if a child is throwing paper or food at a restaurant, time out would provide little correction. However, getting a broom from the waitress and making them clean up the floor, in front of everyone, would certainly be a teaching experience. Making a child’s mind is very important for the relationship. It sets boundaries and lets them know that mom is still a mom. They will love mom for correcting them and make them a respected person later in life.

2. Communication

Think of the mother/child relationship as a plant. It starts out as a small seed. It must be watered, fed, and nurtured to grow into a beautiful plant. Some say that another big factor in a successful relationship, and a lackluster one at that, is talking one with another.  Communication is not yelling, arguing, or being uncivilized in speech. It is letting the child know the boundaries with love. It’s about finding out how their day was at school. It’s about creating an unsaid rule that they can always come to mom no matter what life throws their way. A plant needs the sun to help it grow and mature, a mom is the sun to her child.

3. Have Defined Chores

Chores help to create good work ethic from a young age. It takes a great deal of time and effort to run a household effectively. The chores should be age appropriate and should not be rewarded. One day, they will use these skills to run their home, and they won’t get payment for it then either. Running the washer and dryer, dishwasher, taking out the trash, and mopping the floor are all good character building activities. There are many different ways to accomplish this, but by helping mom with the daily grind, they learn appreciation for what she does each day.

4. Do Plenty of Fun Activities Together

Life cannot be all work and no play. Sure, mom has communication, chores, and boundaries all down pat. Now, she must show them she knows how to let her hair down. One of the best ways to shake off stress and really bond with someone is through activities. In this stressful and crazy world we all live in, both mom and child need a great way to unwind. Go outside, go for a walk, kick the ball, participate in youth yoga, all these are great options for enjoying time together. Children should have good eating habits and learn to de-stress at a young age. Again, these are skills they need in life. While mom is taking a spinning class or doing Zumba, she should encourage physical exercise and good, old-fashioned fun.

5. Have An Open Door Policy

A child should always be able to come to his/her mother with whatever is going on in their life. While it kind of goes along with communication, it is also very different. For instance, a child should be able to have a person in their corner no matter what. Mom is a friend and someone to listen, no matter what mistake they make. It doesn’t mean that mom always agrees with everything they do, but it means that her love goes above and beyond a sin or mistake they have made.  A child is NEVER a mistake!  But they do make mistakes.  

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