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Parenting is the most difficult job you will ever undertake, and at times it can be extremely frustrating, especially if you have a child who is constantly pushing the limits. However, you don't have to lose your cool. Here are four positive parenting tips to help with your struggling child's behavi
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If your child isn't allowed outside unless she's wearing
shoes, don't let her go outside until she has put her shoes on. Children pick
up on inconsistency extremely quickly, and they will test you and push you
every time. If you give in once, they'll try to make you give in every time.
Following through helps them know that you are the parent, and you are the one
in charge of each situation.
We've all seen the tired, frustrated mother in the doctor's
office with all of her children running in different directions. Although this
may feel like your situation sometimes, it doesn't have to be. Before you go
somewhere that requires a different type of behavior, like the library,
doctor's office, or the bank, talk to your children before they get out of the
car. Let them know that you are about to enter "fill in the blank",
and you expect them to behave "fill in the blank". Let them know that
running, shouting, playing, etc. are not appropriate in this type of place, and
that while that's great to do at the playground, it's not good here. Letting
them know what's expected of them helps them to recognize how to choose good
If you see your child doing something great that you didn't
ask him to do, reward him. Whether it's an extra ten minutes of reading time
before bed, or special alone time with Mom or Dad, find a reward system that
works for your family to reinforce and reward good behavior. By reinforcing
good behavior you will help your child discern between what is known as good
behavior and bad behavior, and help them develop good habits and attitudes.
Most people think of time outs as a negative parenting
tactic, but a time out is basically just removing the child from the
problematic situation and giving them a chance to reset. For a positive time
out experience, when your child is doing something he or she shouldn't be, give
him or her one warning. If he or she persists after the warning, take them to
your designated time out spot. Tell him or her in a calm voice what he has
done, and why you have chosen to put him or her in timeout. Then set the timer,
one minute for every year of age. If they leave timeout, put them back without
saying a single word to them, and reset the timer. After enough repeats, they
will stay in timeout on their own. When the timer has gone off, get down to eye
level and explain calmly the reasoning for being in timeout. Tell him or her
what kind of behavior you expect from him or her, and have him or her
There are numerous resources out there to help you develop
positive parenting strategies and help you child continue to grow and learn. If
you are particularly interested in behavior, you could look in an applied certification for behavior
analysis. There are also numerous books and resources online regarding
parenting that could help you find new strategies and techniques to implement.
Parenting is never easy, but it doesn't have to be
argumentative either. Follow these 4 tips to help raise your kids without
introducing negativity into your home. You can do other research for more
positive parenting tips to supplement these with and help your child excel.
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