The first time my husband and I started considering having kids, we had everything planned out. And I am not talking just about the interior design of the baby’s room or the school we would enroll them in. We thought how we wished to become one of the cool parents, the ones that children would feel comfortable with, not the authoritative figures. We wanted to fix all the mistakes our parents made with us so we would be able to raise happy and smart children.
Now, when I look back on the past years I realize that parenthood is one of the most enriching experiences in life and that my children have taught me more about life than I have ever been able to do on my own.
There Has To Be Some Boundaries
As much as I wanted to play the good cop part and become a best friend to my kids, it took me quite some time to realize that during their life they will meet all kinds of friends, but they will have only one mother.
This lesson helped me gain enormous strength to raise my kids properly. I found out that I am able to set limits and boundaries without being a villain. Yes, it is heartbreaking seeing your children mad at you for punishing them, but there is not a better feeling than knowing you have done them a good deed by drawing the line every now and then. I always tried to be fair and to create a mutual understanding.
Now, when my kids are in their teens I can notice that I have taught them to behave and to be respectful and kind. There is nothing more rewarding than knowing you are responsible for that.
Trust and Communication Are Crucial
One of the most important things I have learned during these years is that forming a healthy relationship with your children is possible only by creating a trusting environment. I always tried and luckily managed to create a trustworthy relationship with my children. They never lied to me about their grades or the troubles they were in, as they knew they could always turn to me for support.
I think this is a very important part of growing up, for both parents and children, knowing you always have someone to watch your back.
Also, I realized that the key to a healthy relationship is good and open communication. Feeling free to share your feelings and knowing you will not be judged is something that every child should be taught from an early age. I think this is one of the biggest reasons why I still have such a strong bond with my children till present day.
Acknowledge Your Children
When my kids were still quite young, we had a tendency of throwing themed birthday parties. Being a mother of a three girls, you can only imagine how much effort it took to please them all. I remember one particular time we had organized a fairy party for my girls birthday. This was simply a way to show how much we care and acknowledge them in any way possible. But only now do I realize how much these acts influence our kids to become the people they are today. Just the sole action of organizing a party for your children, putting them in the center of attention and giving them a sense of purpose can greatly influence them to become more self-aware and self-confident.
After giving birth to three amazing kids, I can safely say that reality is a bit different than what we have first planned out. These are just some of the most important lessons I have learned about being a parent, but I am sure that I still have a lot of learning to do.